WHAT TO DO AND DRINK IN NORMANDY
By: Sgt. Howard
| This dissertation will show you how to make Calvados bottles, Calvados being the Apple Brandy that Normandy is known for. The original bottles themselves came in many variations, the one shown being quite common. They were made of 'slip cast' clay since the time of Henry the 8th and inspired an old English drinking song called "Little Brown Jug"- the words were corrupted into American English during the prohibition and it actually became quite a hit on the radio |
| Here we see the product we start with- these are sold as packages of four of these kits as party favors at our favorite Junkie Supply, Wally World. You shoot the marble with your finger to knock down the pins. The quarter is there to give an idea of size |
| Not as good a shot as I would like, but you get the idea- grind off the head to the top of the first ring. The plastic will melt, so be careful. Use the side of the wheel to get a smooth surface, bracing with something under the neck of the pin as shown. |
| Next, use the slowest setting on your drill press and put the work to the drill, not the drill to the work. Use a 8/8" or 9/64" drill bit, try to stay centered and go about 3/8" deep. |
| Between bottles, clear the hot plastic with a piece of softwood scrap pushed into the bit |
| Hand screw a common sheetrock screw into the hole- you now have a handle and stand- Paint the bottom a flat warm-toned off-white, then do the rest up to the mouth in glossy dark brown |
| Here you see the first batch drying- an orderly house is the sign of a sick mind, don't you know... after the paint is set, remove the screws and do the mouths in the same dark brown. When that is done, whittle out some corks and call it a day |
| ... this is a gratuitous gunshot, part of my collection, for those who might question my familiarity with the Mosin-Nagant or the Mauser. The Carcano is in case of Kennedys... |
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and wouldn't you know it... word got out so look who showed up! Lessee here- Top of tank,
left to right- Leonard "Dutch" McDonald, Brit Commando, Ian "Baby Face" Nelson, Brit
Commando- in the turret, left to right- TSgt. Gregory "Skipper" Howard, Tank Commander,
Westfield, Texas, TCpl Joseph "Junior" Wells, Main Gunner, Gary, Indiana- on tank deck, left to
right- PFC John "Moose" Moss, Hull Gunner, Jackson, Mississippi, PFC BJ or "Beej" Storey,
Driver, Taladega, Alabama and on the far corner Stewart "Hindu" Cobb, Brit Commando- On
the ground- Commander Wallace Wilcox, SAS Liason Officer and a young (20 yo) 2and Lt. by
the name of Murphy, 3rd Infantry Division, Farmersville, Texas- near as I can tell, he saw booze
flowing and crashed the gate. Yes, the main gun is festooned with lady's delicate garments- I do
not know why and refuse to ask.
Shortly after this shot was done, Commander Wilcox (you might notice he is listing to port) fell flat on his face. Moose laughed louder than anybody, and Dutch took this personally. There was a confrontation where moose knocked down Baby Face and Hindu by throwing Dutch at them. Lt. Murphy let his feet do the talking- he just plain evaporated, near as I could tell. The Skipper and Beej were both hysterical with laughter- I mean, three commandos out-danced by the son of a blacksmith?- when Junior puked on Beej- the boy ought not try to keep pace with the rest of them, you know? By this time, Moose needed help, so Skipper and Beej got into it... about that time I went for a stroll. After all, they were having good clean wholesome fun and really couldn't do TOO much damage to the place... I will sort out the casulties when it gets quiet. But now, YOU TOO can have this sort of fun with your troops! |
| A great tip there Sarge! And considering the cheap price of those bowling party favors and the relative ease in customizing them, I'm sure we'll be seeing a lot of 1/6th troops carrying those Calvados bottles around soon. Thanks for sharing this one! - GL |
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